Dove Campaign Ad

A campaign ad from Dove was played at the conference and it was about a sketch artist drawing his subject by listening to how the subject described themselves. Then again on the same subject but through the words of another person. All the first drawings came out as the "sad" and "ugly" version. The second drawing was a prettier and happier looking one as described by another person. Again a great reminder that we are our own harshest critic, especially when it comes to our features and our body. We focus on the flaws and not our strenghts. So little self love is found immediately in this world. And in actual fact, that's not how the way the rest of the world sees us. I was blown away by the ad as it was done so beautifully.

My brother is quick to fight for his every right. The hotel didn't tell us that we had to pay $2 extra for hailing us a taxi and he immediately gave the bell boy a piece of his mind and refused the taxi. And when the bell boy reacted without awareness, my brother called him out on it and said he's got a bad attitude. That's when the bell boy collected himself and apologised. Funny how I was going to give in almost immediately to the $2. Sometimes I wish I would confront people more, especially when I have the right to. Times like these I find that I don't stand up for myself more. Then again, it wasn't too big a deal, that's why I chose not to confront.

But also, immediately after, nobody felt good inside because of how the situation turned out. And was it worth the internal conflict? Probably not. But my brother is better at letting these things go. Or so it seems.

Panoramic Room

I arrived at Singapore airport and met this taxi driver with a lousy attitude that made me felt out of alignment. After going into another taxi my mind began to take over and ran with a mini movie about how I should have spoken back to him or take down his plate for making a complaint later on.

But I quickly caught myself falling into this negative thought that not only was useless but also taking my energy lower. So I was able to tell my mind to stop and let go. The process wasn't immediate but it was quick enough.

I was given a panoramic roomroom at the Pan Pacific that has one side of the wall completely made of framed glass. The view of the city from the 31st floor was breathtaking. Every hour the view is different, if not by the minute. I loved waking up to this view and also falling asleep to the city lights. Deep appreciation for this rare opportunity.

No One Should Dictate My Best

When I evaluated a speaker in toastmaster, this very good speaker made my job very easy and my evaluation was one of the better ones. And it made me recall the previous time when I had to evaluate a not so good speaker, my evaluation wasn't good at all and I beat myself up for it.

This means that I'm not doing my best when this happens. No one should dictate or affect how good I'm doing. The only person that can hold me back is myself and if I do that to myself, then I'm not doing myself any justice.

Big City Catharsis

Being "stuck" in a car with the family for a few hours is great because there's nothing else to do but connect and align. It's like catching up with one another and seeing where we are at at that time of our lives.

I'm back in Singapore and did the one thing I like best here which is watching movies at the cinemas. And I saw an elderly man who already is slow in his walk, watching movies on his own. It suddenly hit me that maybe that could be me and if I could still do this thing that I love, if I still had this same freedom he has at his age, it wouldn't be so bad.

Walked past a youth here on the streets who was inadvertently stopped in his tracks by another man and he gave a very impatient"excuse me" followed by a very nasty curse after a few steps later. I was shocked at the kind of attitude this youth had. I wonder if this is a common trait of a big city. It would be tragic if everyone is used to this kind of catharsis and "big city" was the only excuse for it. I know for sure the youths of Brunei aren't as hot headed or nasty.

What Happened As We Got Older

I suddenly remember how when I was just a young boy, going out and suddenly seeing a friend I know, I just shouted from across the room or across the aisle or across the street and started waving frantically with a big smile on my face. Not a care who's watching or judging, it was pure and simple and authentic.

What happened? How am I now the one that couldn't care less if I do see an old friend from afar. Sometimes I even go to the extent of avoiding that person just so that I don't have to smile or say hi. When did a simple and pure greeting become awkward and discouraged?

This has been a great awareness for me, like a wake up call. Next time, be more conscious and choose.

Human Nature Can Be Man's Greatest Folly

I'm now looking deeper into myself at the level that I am operating in. I feel that with a mistake there should be a consequence that follows; if not for that person who committed the mistake, then at least for everyone else to see.

I will be judged no matter what. But more importantly is how I see myself or how I view how I am being judged, or just the fact that I think I will be judged as the leader with every decision I make. My vision is so clouded situations like these. There's no right or wrong and yet it's more comfortable to have the right and the wrong in place. Human nature sometimes can be man's greatest folly?

Awareness Before Emotions

My brother got me impatient just now by wanting to do something in a certain way and wanting me to do it instead of him doing it himself, which got me shouting with emotion. Although I rarely do that now, I didn't like it when I did it. Then I began to put myself in his shoes and figure out why he wanted it that way. And when I got the answer, I could empathize and began to understand more. But it's just in that moment in time the emotions came up first instead of the awareness.

I got a crossfit competition tomorrow on this crossfit even though it's not a big deal at all, I still feel the nerves. I realized no matter what it is, as long as it's competitive or if there's some sort of stake involved, I get nervous easily. Over the years I would say these nerves have gotten better at handling pressure but I still have a long way to go to not let it bother me physically. Now I'm feeling slightly weak in the knees just thinking about the whole thing tomorrow.

Don't Forget To Align

I had an alignment with the restaurant managers yesterday. Something I have neglected without awareness for the past six months. It's always good to have alignment that is with high energy and strong intention. I came out of there feeling great just because I did it and everyone is now aligned.

At the same time I also continue to wonder if my words are the best words and the right words that they can understand. I realised also that when my words don't flow I'm no longer speaking with my heart but from my head. And sometimes it's too late to change as the moment has passed. More practice to speak with my heart so that I would get it right the first time.

Exercise Is Always Good

I'm continuing to practise with chewing slower. Slow is fast. I'm enjoying my food more. I can taste them better now. It's like tuning in to the environment but this is tuning in with the tongue. Fantastic.

My sinus was really acting up yesterday and it was challenging to stop myself sneezing every other minute when I'm around people. But I won't allow that to stop me from going about normally, going into meetings and appointments. Just by taking awareness out of that itchy nose helped. And to continue with high energy when meeting people rather than feeling the discomfort. 

And after a normal exercise session in the evening, it was completely gone. I still don't understand what this means, but I guess exercise is always good.

Eat To Heart's Content

Today is the remembrance anniversary for my grandma. A lot of food were cooked in the morning as usual. So there was a lot of food for lunch and dinner.

I had a lot of appreciation for the food during lunch and I took my time chewing them. 

And when I had dinner, sitting by myself in front of a great spread I suddenly had a deeper sense of appreciation for it. I was very hungry before that and to be able to eat to my heart's content (not my body's) brought a great sense of satisfaction and abundance. For the first time I appreciated the food at this level, I was deeply moved and touched and felt truly blessed to be able to live in such abundance when other parts of the world are struggling to get by. And I believe this was because of all the months of practising appreciation for food, to choose to chew slower and more and take my time. 

I also appreciate for being able to feel what I felt because it certainly doesn't happen everyday and it's great to have felt that kind of feeling.

All Will Be Well

I woke up in the middle of the night last night with a bad headache on my right temple. It was quite bad because I couldn't lay down or that would be worse. And when in such pain and discomfort I realised I lost all conscious awareness and just sat there dwelling on the pain, waiting for the aspirin to kick in.

At that time u began to think about the lack of sleep the next day, or whether the pain would go away this time, or how long before I can sleep again. None of these thoughts helped but I wasn't aware of the thoughts.

And when I woke this morning, I took a bit if time to appreciate that it is another brand new day. The sun is out. The pain is gone. I'm back to my self again.

All will be well. Always. That's one thing that I can have more faith in.

Please Repeat

I was reminded by myself that I have not been connecting with my staff in the office of late after having an impromptu one-on-one with one of them. So as we're driving back from another meeting outside, I took the opportunity to invite another to sit in my car and I invited her to open up whatever issue she had in mind or wanted to raise and everything will stay confidential. I felt it was a great experience to be able to listen to whatever problems she might be facing, to hear her views, let her speak her mind. But I was also shocked that she was still gossiping with her colleagues and I suggested to her to stop that as that is an unhealthy act. They still have much to learn about the poison that is gossiping.

I'm also practising my listening skill and with no judgement. Taking your advise about requesting the other party to repeat themselves when I lost them to my mind. Today was also another realisation when I met up with my insurance agent. It was so easy for my mind to drift off when he's talking about numbers. I am shocked with my new level of awareness how much numbers don't go into my comprehension. Asking him to repeat again was also another way for me to bring myself back to the present and pay attention to what he's talking about.

Get The Intention Aligned

I felt like this morning I woke up and had switched my awareness level down to zero. The morning passed by like a blur so now I'm doing an energy check and waking myself up from a zombified state.

Yesterday I started to question about what the intention was for starting a podcast with a friend talking about movies. We never sat down and state what our intention was and if we want to do something, might as well do it with purpose and value and see where this can take us to a higher level. Sure, spending half an hour a week on it may not seem much, and we do enjoy it as we both love watching movies, but getting our intentions aligned can set a stronger foundation or create a better understanding for everyone involved. At the moment, it's all in assumptions.

I Don't Own My Own Plans

So funny that just like yesterday, I was thinking about Fion in Kuching and she also texted me today for a greeting. And I told her too I was thinking about her not too long ago. The awareness finally hit me that I can make the first move instead. Otherwise the pattern will continue.

While driving I made a conscious choice to bring up yesterday's topic about the burst pipe to my mom. Immediately her energy changed to that of frustration as she recounted the chain of events. However, my intention wasn't that as I wanted to share about my awareness but different level of energy were at work. So I had to bring her back to my intention which was to share about my feelings of frustration and reaction or there lack of. But also of my moments of anger and my moments of loss of self control in my emotions albeit I kept them to myself at the time. But this was probably the first time we had this kind of conversation and I foresee many more to come.

But on the way back mom forgot her phone and we were already almost at home. Funny how I had the night planned for myself and now we had to drive all the way back to get the phone and my plans were all dissolved. We make a lot of plans in our head and when they don't go our way our ego gets upset. I'm still learning that my ego is not myself. And my plans are also not myself. I don't own them. I only own my own creations. I am the source of energy and that is what I can own.

To Hold One's Tongue

Being aware and keeping my energy up consciously seem to have also helped with my overall day to day energy. It seems like even without my usual number of hours of sleep it doesn't affect me. I don't feel lethargic like I used to for the past couple of months already. I'm able to enjoy life even more this way.

I suddenly thought about a friend yesterday because I haven't seen her for the longest time. And after a while she sent me a text of greeting saying the same thing. Energy flows in beautiful and mysterious ways.

Tonight the house-maid broke a water pipe. I was debating with myself whether or not to lecture her on her stupidity and couldn't come up with a right answer as I could tell my emotion was running high. And that was caused by the discomfort of not having water and the challenges tomorrow will bring when looking for someone to come and fix something which I am not sure whether it can be fixed.

Discomfort is something that we have come to be so used to. And once we don't have it we're out of our comfort zone and desires so much for the normalcy that is defined by our mind.

Also whether or not the pipe can be fixed is not up to me to decide and yet my mind want to make that decision straight away.

In the end I held my tongue because whatever I said wasn't going to fix the situation but only satisfy my ego for letting off the frustration.

If the words that are going to come out of our mouths aren't going to be helpful to anyone then it's better left unsaid.

Under One Roof

An awareness I had from watching the movie Paranoia. People today think more about convenience of the mobile phones as something that can perform everything to make life easier. We want the best and the fastest and the flashiest. 

However, we neglect the fact that it's a risk to put everything under one roof. We're blinded by the warm and fuzzy feeling that roof provides. Moreover, everything can be tracked on the mobile phone and hence privacy no longer exist. Therefore, it's more and more important to be aware about what kind of information are we sharing unconsciously. No longer just on the social media.

I'm going to make today my best day by living in awareness and abundance.

The Negative Energy Of 'Want'

I'm still feeling the power of CV 8 and 9. I have also learned to check my energy at a different level whereby it felt like my energy automatically rises back up when I was able to remind myself. So I shifted very quickly. Such a powerful tool that I have finally learned and I'm very grateful for it.

I had a big lesson about "want" yesterday. I "wanted" the FFXIV collector's edition and went to a store that told me it never came in. The unaware staff gave me their supplier's phone number in Singapore. Because I wanted it bad, I called immediately without thinking. They probably weren't a store but a distributor centre because they got suspicious and asked who I was. While caught up in the energy of "want", I was blinded and lied that I was a staff from the store. 

After all the lying and covering up my ass, and probably unsuccessful too, I felt something inside me stirring. And I realised I was disgusted with myself for falling so far down. It hurt me badly and it felt like I never wanted to feel that way again. I immediately let that "want" energy go. 

And I was able to think back to some of the moments that I "wanted" things. Even when times I was "wanting" for others to join CV and the energy with which I was sharing that left me drained. But so far, the sharing I have done with a few people this week did not left me drained because I didn't come from a place of "want". I was just sharing and was at peace with whatever the outcome was. 

It has definitely been a great week of learning. And to have just come back from classes really accelerate my learning too. Feels awesome!

Not Lucky, But Not Unlucky, Life Patterns

It took me one whole day before I began to realise that the free ticket I "won" was the same ticket that's part of the buy-one-free-one deal. So I wasn't lucky to have won an extra free ticket which to me was like winning a lucky draw prize. But I was also lucky to have been part of the buy-on-free-one deal which was given to only the first 50 customers.

I realized that there were some life patterns involved. My brother's life pattern (and also a couple of close friends in my life) is that he doesn't give details when giving instructions and just assume that everything will fall into place in the end. My life pattern is that I assume I know the detail already and not ask for it. So when these two life patterns come together, miscommunication and misunderstanding arises. What I can do is to be aware of this pattern and break it every time it arises. 

Yesterday everyone in the office came in more well-dressed than usual. One thing I realized about myself was that I almost not follow through with the initial idea of putting on a jacket because the weather was so hot. But I reminded myself that as a leader I have to show up as my best. What's a little heat if I could be seen as walking the talk? It's most important that I came in looking what I meant and not appear to trivialize the situation.

Lucky

I have never won a lucky draw grand prize before. Yesterday because my brother used my credit card to purchase our tickets, my credit card won another free ticket. This felt like the grand prize at a lucky draw. And is probably why I didn't know how to react or had any reaction when I got the call from the bank. I could say that it technically wasn't my doing to win the ticket but I'm just going to really appreciate that I had luck on my side and be thankful that I have a free trip, to a place I enjoy going, even if it's just across the pond to Singapore.

The last few days have been quite peaceful amidst all the crazy traffic on the roads as people prepare for the celebration. Peaceful in my mind and heart. I have been aware of my own energy checks and frown less and smile more. I have been more patient and more good natured.

And today is the day that I've asked people in the office to come dressed up in the spirit of the celebration. It will be the first step to having more of these dress-up days in the office. And I will bring my best energy today to join in the fun. To be aware, to be the creator of moments and to own moments of my best self.

Go Back To Intention

Go back to intention.

Over the weekend I've had plenty of reminders about going back to the intention.

A passage from Jewel's biography, about her fame when young, but it was her mother that reminded her to recall what her intention was, which wasn't for fame.

And I was fortunate to have a newbie at toastmaster assigned to me who is just as Tan, and I was guiding him on his speech about intention and purpose.

Going back to the intention isn't something that I remind myself enough, I feel. So with the start of a new week, I shall focus on intention in everything I do. To remember to go to my higher self and find that higher purpose so as to invest my life energy to the fullest.

Checking Myself Internally

It's been a couple of great days as I live in the present and also in awareness.

I remembered to remind myself to check my energy before the few meetings I've had in the last two days. And even in the meetings, I found myself checking my energy and checking where I was at and if I could be even more present.

It has truly been an enlightening journey since I got back from the Chiang Mai. And I plan to continue that way. My commitment to myself is still strong.

Being In A Relaxed Environment

Today is my best day. I'm going to make it my best day. Because it is a great day to be alive. Even though my sinus for the past week has been really bad.

So I went in to see Dr Steve and Dr Jo today. I like their place. The choice of background ambiance music I really enjoyed. And it's an uplifting environment.

The fasting month is well underway. And I'm enjoying the slower paced traffic on the road, and not too congested at certain times. A more relaxed environment keeps the body and soul relaxed as well. So I'm in a very relaxing mood these few days.

Enjoying My Own Company

I am enjoying my own company today. Not because I was alone but because I was present with myself. More in touch with my inner self. And even getting that close to myself, I'm happy with who I am. The past, the present and the future that I want for myself. That's all it matters.

Our Feet Are Sensors

A public holiday today. This is probably one of the very few, or the only, country in the world that has a public holiday to celebrate the ruler's birthday. And I feel lucky to have a ruler that really cares for his people. And the people loves him too.

So today I decided to empower myself by spending a couple of hours cleaning up my room. Feeling the clean floors and everything else dusted is refreshing to the body and soul. Our feet also has sensory nerves, sending the signals of clean and comfort to the brain, which in turn makes the whole body more relaxed. It's a great feeling.

We Can Never Prepare For Everything

The Drive Thru finally got approved and we opened two days ago. I think everyone must have let out a sigh of relief that the wait is finally over. Silly as it sounds but to a certain extent it does feel like we can now go on with our lives. Especially those who have been very hands-on all this while, working hard to get to where we are now, the fruit of the labour can now be tasted. Every little decision we've made in the past, whether low or high energy and intention, shows up today. So it's been a great couple of days.

And also, as much as we prepare and practice, there's still some hiccups that's bound to happen. Shows that we can never be over prepared. And we can never prepare for everything. It's how we handle the issues when they present themselves that's the key.

I've been spending more time with the six puppies lately. To watch their innocence really take me away from everything that the world is waiting on me. They really brought me to the present and my mind had nothing else but focus solely on them. Too bad they will soon be taken away. But I know I can't keep all of them. It's another lesson on letting go.

One Moment Of Complete Presence

I said I wanted to enjoy and appreciate the paintings right in front of me, I never got to it. Something happened, I got distracted, and that was the end of it. This happens quite often. I must remember to take time for myself and not do anything, and just be.

I had a heavy head this afternoon, almost getting a headache. It was tough during the workout session when my whole body felt lethargic. But after everything was done, something made me look up at the sky. As the sun was setting, the different colours were very distinct as they drew boundaries across the sky. I haven't marvelled the sky for a while now. And just that one look, one moment of complete presence, everything felt alright again.

I'm The One Making It Complicated

Just finished the Monday morning meeting and it seems I'm getting more and more impatient during these meetings. I had to stay very present and conscious about my feelings just to maintain composure. Seems like the meetings have lost its appeal to me. It's something I know it's necessary but it's also something I've never enjoyed. I'll need to find another way to anchor my feelings. I lose stamina after an hour and that's the biggest issue right now.

It could be as simple as just smiling more. It actually is simple. I'm making it complicated.

So today I intend to enjoy life. To continue to be present with where I am and see all that's right in front of me; which right now are the paintings on the wall. And I shall take a moment with them once again.

Be Conscious And Enjoy While It Lasts

Today has been a best day. Probably because there wasn't much to do and I didn't have to stress over anything. It's been rainy the whole day and I guess that helps. But now as I unwind for bed time, I only feel peace. Spending a bit of time with the dogs also can be therapeutic and calming. I will be conscious and enjoy this while it lasts.

Quiet Moments With Myself

Today I appreciate myself for my sense of care and responsibility towards the little ones. The local NGO has brought 6 puppies and their mother to our house for our care because my brother wanted to keep two as watchdogs. The past few mornings I have taken upon myself to make sure they get out of their temporary cage so they can do their business outside and get fed by their mother. I don't usually get out of my room till the morning is ripe but I didn't mind getting out an hour earlier to spend time with the dogs and then also cleaning them up. What they taught me was curiosity and sense of adventure in the purest form. 

I also discovered that the mother appears to be very humble. She came malnourished with some scars. Perhaps getting hurt physically in the past, she came forward and sat a few feet away as I called her and bowed her head. It took some effort for me to lift it with my hand and I found that quite heart breaking.

These days I'm enjoying some quiet moments before or after the cinema, to just sit alone and read while sipping a cup of coffee. I find the experience quite serene and refreshing every time. 

Another great day to be alive. And I trust myself fully for the decisions I will make throughout the day.

Buy And Sell

Today is another great day to be alive. It's a day to appreciate all the lessons that will come my way later, to be aware and to learn. And also another day to sell myself and my energy to the people that I meet, and to buy them into my life. To be aware of my actions and make the highest possible choices. 

Today will be a day to create.

Mind My First Word And Energy

Today is a beautiful day and indeed a great day to be alive. The neighbouring haze has been felt here for the past week but it's not so bad to have caused any complaints. But whatever it is, it has not affected me in any way.

So even though the sun is somewhat filtered but it's still persisted with its strong rays and brightened everyday. And if it would rain, that would be more awesome.

I am beginning to realize the importance if that energy and words when starting a conversation. I am responsible for bringing down or lifting up the energy of a conversation so it is important to be aware of this. The outcome could depend solely on the beginning. Great lesson!

Go To Higher Ground And Find Greater Joy

I reminded myself to check my energy a few times throughout the day today as I was meeting a couple of overseas guests. I was aware to make sure I go in with highest energy and with the highest purpose as well. My intention was clear, which was to accommodate them and to find out what is needed of us. And I asked them the most important question, which was what I could do for them. And having set this internal tone for myself once again has helped me come out of meetings feeling great as I felt I have done my best.

Frankie has invited me to share a room with him in Kuching. I actually intended to room alone, to have that comfort and privacy. Then I thought about how this was such a rare opportunity to share a room and share time with a dear friend that I seldom get to see. And it's also a rare opportunity because Jennifer will not be joining us. So I told myself to grab this opportunity and forego whatever privacy or comfort or money that I could save; or at least I thought were the things that I wanted and move to a higher place of energy and intention. And it feels great to have done so.

Unclutter And Find Meaning

This Sunday I've decided to get out of my comfort zone and choose to have a productive morning before I have to go out. I decided to unclutter my room. I swept, wiped, mopped, and got rid of a lot of things that I don't need or have no use for anymore. After everything was done, the room felt cleaner and neater and I felt great just to have done this all by myself. I also commit to doing this at least once a month. A lot of things in life if we choose to ignore, if we don't stop and look, they will just go undiscovered and wouldn't mean anything. To unclutter is to find the meaning in what we own in life. 

Death Is Really Just Around The Corner

I don't like to get attached to pets but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel some excitement when my brother was bringing two stray puppies back. But it's so funny that when we have such high intention about providing a good home for stray dogs, to feed and love them; and they in turn didn't want us and ran away on the first dawn. 

The phrase of not meant to be was louder than ever and was one that was also hard to swallow. But it really is about letting go and not gripping tight onto something. I'm glad to see that my brother sees it this way as well and cared more for the well-being of the puppies. He has the right intention because he's not stuck in the ego and his own selfish wants. It's about those puppies, not us. We do not own them so they will know what's best for themselves.

Yesterday when I'm lying down and not doing anything in particular, I suddenly caught this vision of images. In it I felt very deeply about how fragile an individual life is and how precious as well. It's the kind of feeling that touched something deep inside and I was moved by it. It's just one of those experiences where something becomes so crystal clear. And then it was gone. 

And for that brief moment I am very appreciative of my own life, because death is really just around the corner in the shadows of unknown. Again I feel very grateful to be one of the most fortunate people in this world because I have a roof over my head, around my loved ones, and there's nothing more that I want from life. I am just going to live it to the best I can in its honour.

Don't Let Others' Emotion Affect My Emotion

I woke up yesterday with so much negativity about the things that I have to face. I couldn't stop my mind from projecting into the future and creating scenes after scenes. It woke me up early and I couldn't go back to sleep, and I just lay there letting my mind ran. I was conscious what was happening but I couldn't stop it from continuing on. I literally shook myself on the bed, trying to snap out of it. It got frustrating because I couldn't shift it. So I was careful not to let this affect my whole day.

And when I had to encounter the issue, it was actually quite straight forward. Simple. And it was done. All that stress was actually for nothing. I knew I could trust myself to handle it, but somehow I think I didn't want to and just wanted to escape. I wasn't being myself. And so that caused the disalignment in me.

I also let others affect me. The more drama that was created, the more I get sucked in to it. The strange thing is that people are not being rocks in front of me, but maybe they are perceived by others as rocks, and others relay that to me, and my mind took that and ran with it. Gahhh, what's the lesson here. It's obvious but perhaps it's not.

Today being Saturday, my intention is to recuperate from all the exercise sessions that I've put my body through over the past few weeks. It's rare to go three days without exercise but I'm taking this opportunity to rest up and start again on Monday. So I'm declining all invites to work out today and just have some alone time and get some things done that I have put off.

Set Up The Day And The Day Will Set Me Straight

Setting up the day for yesterday when I woke up kind of helped. With the intention to be cool and calm to go through the day, I was made aware when I wasn't cool and calm. With that awareness immediately I was able to stop and check on why I'm not living in my intention and make adjustments straight away.

So today, my intention is to be cool and calm as I go through the day. Let's do this again.

Today Is Another Brand New Day

Today is another brand new day. Woke up feeling great. Its a beautiful cloudy and cool weather outside. My intention is to be as cool and calm as well and go through the day with high energy. Lots to do today and I shall go through them one by one.

Conquering Fear

Today I watched a movie that I would highly recommend the CV family. After Earth's tagline is "danger is very real, fear is a choice". And between the father and son, many life lessons and lessons about fear can be uncovered. In the end, it's about conquering fear. Fear can materialise in many forms, be it danger from environment or threat from beasts. But what if in order to survive, it is fear we have to let go of, how will we rise up to it? 

"Every decision you make is life and death" - and if we truly value this life we have, then we could treat every decision as life and death too. Amidst all the action, there's a beautiful story about a father and son relationship, about teaching and about letting go. 

It's a beautiful story beautifully told. One I would gladly revisit again.

Choose Not To Own Wants

I saw free international shipping from an apparel online store last night, put some items into the basket, and just before checking out, I asked myself what was the intention of getting these things. I can only hear the ego talking, wanting to own some nice tee shirt designs, and for the next half an hour I thought to myself on how I don't need more tees, how my cupboard is full with tees and I really don't need these tees because I only want them. That's the difference. So in the end, I let it go. These wants I have chosen not to own.

Intention And Resolve Will Fight Off Complacency

I woke up an hour later than usual today so I felt really refreshed the whole day. Maybe it was because of public holiday or maybe it's the supplements but I am really curious to find the reason. Then again, some things were meant to remain a mystery so I'm not too hung up on it. This is also about letting things go and being at peace with whatever happens.

I had to move in and out a lot today even though being a holiday. I had meetings and appointments spaced two hours between one another and in the middle I would go home for an hour. It was kind of a time wasting as I could have brought a book out and sit myself in a cafe and read in between but I didn't plan ahead. Nevertheless, I kept my energy up and got through meeting different people.

The interesting thing happened when I was about to go for my workout. My body and mind screamed because they were being lazy and didn't want to go out again. I kept asking myself what the intention was, and the answer was to work out. And I told myself that every time this reluctance happened, if I just see it through I know I would enjoy the work out and be more happy with myself that I had done it later. So that's exactly what happened. When complacency steps in, the intention and resolve will have to be strongest.

Power Without Harness Is Destructive

The power of the mind overcome me yesterday when I had to perform a birthday song. I've performed multiple times on stage bigger. But in the intimate and personal setting, my mind was louder than my heart and I didn't do my best. I projected a lot of fear and worry into the future and it materialised. So much so I have forgotten to give myself love and courage and confidence instead. All the practices I've done prior was no match for the power of the mind that had gone loose. Power without harness is destructive.

Nevertheless, I was complimented to have great energy throughout the night. And that was because I started out the night with clear intention and to open up myself to the people at a party. I walked up to every person that I didn't know and introduced myself. That must have opened up a door or broken down a wall that led me to have ease around a new environment. Interesting awareness.

Today I saw the opposite of going into a meeting without full alignment. Not that the meeting went wrong because it actually went well. But I knew it could have been better had there been alignment. The reason why we needed alignment was also the reason why there was no alignment in the first place. There were too many different parties involved, separated by time and purpose and responsibility. But if every party came together first before going into the meeting with the final piece of the puzzle, the result probably would have came to an agreement sooner and smoother.

Flying Solo Is Great

As I was driving a two hour journey I was forced to be with my own thoughts which doesn't come very easily with all the modern distractions. And I am appreciative of it because at some point it was meditative. I was able to go through a lot of things in my mind and feel a lot of things in my heart. I probably need to do an activity solo once a month to gather all these thoughts because I felt it was really good about it.

I spoke on the phone with a person I'm supposed to pass something to. When a person has negative energy it really blares out like a red siren. And it is when I encounter people like that, I am so easily affected as all my thoughts then became negative about the situation. I had to remind myself quite a few times to stop thinking and let go of that feeling. I do not have to own any of the negativity directed at me. I'll just do my best and I did, and everything turned out fine.

More and more I'm beginning to see the lesson in Xi'an manifest. Setting the tone and the intention before an activity makes making decisions and taking actions later on much easier. Since I was there for my friend's wedding, I really was there, fully present for him. All the decisions I had to make there became easier and clearer because my intention was clear. With clear intention there is no fear or fear of regrets.

Be In The Flow Of It All

Things happen that's beyond our control most of the times. The only way through is to be in the flow. So what if I don't get the code to renew my pre-paid electricity bill. So what if it will run out in the middle of the night. So what if I probably will be awaken when there's no fan. I'll deal with these things when the time comes and just sleep while I can. And I did wake up at 5 a.m. But saw on my phone that the code came in at 2.30 a.m. Great, I'll just have to get out of bed and go outside to input the code. Took a while to get back to sleep but everything works out fine in the end. Nothing to fret about.

Today I have to make a drive down to Miri for a friend's wedding. I have to pick up a passenger who I don't know. Great, another person to connect with and who can be my navigator. My intention today is to be aware of my environment and surrounding, to be mindful of my surroundings and to be safe on the road. And since I have missed the morning session of the wedding, I'll contribute whatever I can later at night and help make this the best night for my friend.

If I Can't Change It, I Have To Let It Go

I had a terribly stressed out day yesterday at work till I got a headache. The stress came from being so focused on looking for that breakthrough in a situation, that I was doing everything I could and figuring out all kinds of solution to solve one problem.

I did stop and think about how I ought to relax when there's nothing I could do to improve the situation but the waiting parts kept me uneasy nonetheless. The insecure that I can't meet the deadline was the main cause for the stress. But still, I need to practise more to breathe and let go of all the negative thoughts when I've done all I could and there's nothing else I could do.

One thing that I regretted was that I wasn't careful enough earlier on that could potentially reduce the amount of stress. But this is also me holding on to something that I can't change. And when I can't change, I have to let go. Or I'll just stress myself out.

Today I was reminded that if my intention for an action wasn't clear enough, I'll end up confusing myself when I got to a destination. Not knowing what to do became time and opportunity wasted. I sort of put this out as a test because on my way there I already know my intention for going wasn't clear, and yet I thought I just go and see what happens. Sure enough, I was distracted and lost. But good thing was this wasn't anything significant. And I feel I was able to learn from this real life experience of loss in opportunity, and hope I don't repeat this in something that's more significant.

The Sad Reality Of The Unawares

I'm appreciative of having gone through the CV process. Now listening to another violet leader and speaker speaking about self-awareness, intentionality and commitment, I have a deeper appreciation for the whole speech; down to the way the speech was done in front of 800 people. My awareness level definitely is very much different now than it was before, and the awareness behind the awareness is that I'm appreciative of who I have become through this whole CV process. I am now a better and more enlightened leader and person and I'm very much happy about it.

The Great Wall touched me deeply. Climbing up step by step was really not easy. Imagine those people who had to build it. As I ran my hand passed each block of stone it was almost as if I could feel all the struggles the slaves had to endure because I was hung up on the many thousands that have died for the preservation of the country from invaders. It certainly reminded me of the terracotta warriors once again.

I began to let go of my own feelings and ego and started to appreciate the environment, the nature, the greens that surrounded us with the blue sky above. The air was drier and thinner up there. But we're so much closer to the sky.

Then there were those writings of names and dates on the blocks of stones by people who wanted to have their names permanently etched on the Great Wall. Again an act of ego that went in to destroy the natural beauty of things. The sad reality of the unawares.

I Judge Others, I Judge Myself

Lately I am thinking about how I see myself approving of other peoples action. When its something that I'm judging others, it translates to how I judge myself. The more I care about how others live their life, the more harsher I judge myself. I realise that if I dislike something, it means that when that happens to me I would dislike myself even more. There are things that I could learn to let go. And in turn I can love myself even more and have peace within me.

I noticed that when trying to prove a point, an enlightened leader would be one who argues on the main intention. Many times when I am challenged I would get sucked into the argument for argument's sake and lose sight of what the argument or discussion was really about. This happens when emotions come in. A cool and calm head is required and its something to keep reminding myself of.

I became aware of how my momentum with work often times get interrupted by all the traveling I'm doing and I have to start from scratch when I return. Now I have to learn to either let the starting process be shorter or not let the traveling interrupt the momentum.

Beijing is a place with incredible architecture. It is a city that has really evolved. But unlike Shanghai, at least there are still buildings with traditions intact but more and more as they bring in foreign architects the essence of the culture is potentially lost.

The government has imposed a fine for jay walkers in this city just to educate its people. It shows where the people are at when it comes to road awareness.

Today my intention is to feel the bricks that made up of the great wall as I visit it later. To understand and look briefly into the past of this wonder of the world.

Shifting As A Choice

I was rushing out after lunch today and realised that my socks were being instructed by my mom to the maid to be washed because i left it on the floor, which I have been doing for the past few years but today she saw it differently. And I just took it out this morning so it was barely time for wash. And times like these are times when I get frustrated most easily. I can laugh it at now but at that moment I sweat a few more droplets. But being more aware now, I also saw that I could either sit on this feeling or shift it out. And the choice was clearly there. Even though if I have to do it a few times but still, the choice was there, amazingly. Shifting has become more and more obvious to me now and I'm starting to understand how it's done.

I'm sure I still have a long way to go but I appreciate the fact that I have come a long way already. More to come.

Be Aware And Appreciate Life

Over the weekend,

I had quite an out of body experience. I was driving in the rain and in a curve, i felt the tires losing grip with the ground. I half expected the car to slide off the road and bang into the side railings. Suddenly I felt my presence was being brought 100% back into the present and I was very aware of everything around me as I half prepared myself for collision. I could have been hurt badly but it wasn't to happen on that day as the car came back into my control.

I've been enjoying the rain, the cooling weather. But I also have to respect it and be careful and be aware of the force of nature.

I saw the movie Gatsby and really appreciate what the director was attempting to make the audience feel. It was a sad ending and I realised I could live in that mood or shift and get out of it. I felt the control over my emotions and found this very different. Because with awareness and the awareness of shifting energy, this is clearly very possible and I saw that I could shift there and then.

It has been raining but on Sunday it was clear skies. Amal has arranged white tents to be set up on the Empire Hotel beach and held a gathering for her classmates and the newer students. It was such an amazingly beautiful environment created with many desserts. I found myself appreciating every moment, not rushing to do anything but just use my feelings to feel whatever I wanted to do. I appreciated the present, the beauty, the company and the music while we appreciated the environment, the sand, the deep blue water and the clear blue sky. What a perfect Sunday.

Letting Go And Just Let It Be

Two big awareness for me today. One is that when I didn't say no to others and had to follow through, my mind would start nagging at me and start to project a lot of negativity into the future. Just now was probably the first time I was aware of how negative my mind can get when it feels like it's been forced to do something against its will. Why not just carry on forward, let go of the feeling, and live in the moment. It took a lot of being present to do just that while I went through the process of the action just now.

The other one was that when out of the blue I was told between 7 and 11 pm there will be heavy rain, I almost cancelled my plans to be out. Only to find that it was actually not such a bad thunderstorm that warranted a warning. But because something out of the ordinary came along, I started worrying about how bad it could have gotten and instead of just letting it be. Whatever comes will come. This after all is Brunei, no weather will ever be that bad.

Funny how things turned out the way it did tonight. But in the end, I was still alright. In the past, I don't think tonight would have ended on such a positive note. I have changed. I have let go of a lot of my thoughts. And I really appreciate myself for it.

Learn And Move Forward

For the first time, I actually forgot an appointment and made some people waited for me for an hour! I was so ashamed and felt so bad that I didn't know what to say because I knew anything I said wouldn't be good enough. My intention now is to learn from this mistake and move forward as a better person and not let it happen again.

Today my intention is to live life to the fullest, not to squander life energy and to be a contributor to my environment.

It's another beautiful but hot day here in Brunei. I will move slower and not rush.

I Am A Source Of Energy

Going from meeting to meeting, meeting up with different people, if I don't get myself out of my thoughts I'll be bringing the previous energy into the new one. Without doing an energy check, without being aware, I was not able to be the source of energy for others.

So when I went in to meet some people with my thoughts still stuck in a previous situation, my energy was just so-so. And no surprise here, the energy that I get back was also so-so. It's always a mirror effect. And I also felt it was the other party that was attempting to lift up my energy. I became the taker while they were the giver in that meeting. 

I am a source of energy. If I am not aware, then I'm not adding any value to other people. So before the next meeting, I was able to do an energy check and life myself out of my own thoughts and contribute in a more positive way.

A Perfect Lazy Sunday Morning

I woke up today to a cloudy sky. And the wind blowing a cool breeze as I opened the window. It was so refreshing and I'm just so grateful for that moment to be at such peace and tranquillity. It was the perfect lazy Sunday morning to relax without a 9 to 5.

And as they say the best things in life are free. After lunch I sat at the table with my parents enjoying a cup of tea which I don't usually do. I appreciate that moment once more as we just sat there enjoying each other's company and did nothing but chat.

Don't Limit My Smiles

Last weekend I became aware that when I'm involved in an activity at someone else's premise I become a friendlier being to the staff of that establishment. I become extra courteous with more smiles and a better overall attitude.

This was what happened when I was invited to participate in a Lego exhibition at Gloria Jean's celebrating Star Wars day on May 4th. Gloria Jean's became a partner and I showed up as my best.

Now why should I limit myself to events like these? I know it will take practice but I commit to practise to be a better, more courteous, friendlier self that can bring smiles to others through my own smiles.

Feedback As Contribution

Giving feedback is also a form of contribution. After attending a training session and when the coordinators were asking for feedback, I realise it wasn't difficult to give feedback as there is always something to contribute in such a forum. To not have anything to say would mean no awareness throughout the day. I especially be come more aware about this as I was specially invited to attend this by the good people of KFC Singapore. I am more conscious about not being a freeloader and be more present about my energy and contribution to group activities.

Nathan Sawaya

I set my intention today before going to visit an exhibition at the arts and science museum in Singapore to again not be a tourist and only take.

This was an art exhibition where every piece was done with Lego pieces by a lawyer turned artist Nathan Sawaya.

Getting to know him was so easy as every piece came with a little excerpt and his own thoughts about human nature.

He is a guy who seemed to have a high level of awareness and living the violet way. I felt that he is very relatable. He did a piece about mask and uses almost the same words that was used in class. Reading his words is like reading my notes.

There were many times throughout the exhibition where I was able to bring myself back to awareness and remind myself to be in the present. I wasn't snapping away with my camera as I began to feel my environment with not just my eyes. I felt this whole experience was a much better one than the ones I used to have without awareness and presence.

No Right Or Wrong, Only High And Low

Went to a travel fair expecting to save over $200 from 2 tickets but only managed to get one. And total savings was less than $10. I first saw it as 2 hours wasted but there must be a lesson there somewhere that I haven't learned. I thought back to what I had done throughout the whole process and realised that I had done all I can with the most positive attitude and I am happy with my "life performance".

Catching up with someone who I don't usually do and talking about learning and awareness always brings more to my attention. I am grateful for the invitation to lunch and for the willingness to connect. A lot of awareness came out between us two Tan people, about comparisons and how that stems from being stuck in the mind. And there is no right or wrong in life, only higher and lower levels of being.

Nothing I Had On Was Bought Locally

I looked at what I wore this morning and I had a big realisation. My shoes were bought from South Korea. My watch was from Macau. My shirt was from Hong Kong. My belt was from Dubai. Even my underwear was from Malaysia. Nothing I had on was bought in Brunei.

And I suddenly felt that I was really blessed to be living this life I'm living. I have a new found gratitude for being able to travel and buy things from all over the world. I'm really lucky. And I really appreciate all that I have.

I Am Where I Want To Be

Today seemed to be a day of catching up with really old friends, friends from secondary schools and university.

And we touched on the topic of office environment and bosses. And I realised that I am blessed with great office environment that places trust and fairness above preferential treatments and gossips. I am also blessed with being the one who is aware enough to be leading the company in the direction which I feel has the highest level in positivity rather than productivity.

I'm thankful that I am in the position that I am in right now, the environment that I am in right now, with the people I am with right now. I am where I want to be and doing what I feel is right, I am just grateful to be, period.

We Are The Most Important Person In Our Own Life

This morning a friend shared a great awareness he recently had. He said we only become more careful when there is another life in our hands, an easy example would be when we're driving.

I realised also I become a more careful driver when I have a passenger. Often times we forget that we always have a precious life in our hands that we have to safeguard - which is our own. And we always don't see our own life as important enough or just take it for granted and not put enough emphasis on ourselves when in fact, we are the most important person in our own life!

Being Prepared For A Presentation

Learned from my last presentation of being too relaxed and not having prepared enough, this time going in I made sure I was prepared enough to know the flow of what I was going to talk about and still being relaxed before going in. And the result was a smoother presentation which I was more satisfied about.

With new owners stepping in there are new faces and even more requirements. It was another long 4 hours of sitting through a lot of issues that may not have much to do with Brunei side. Nonetheless, it was a good experience to witness how a very new but very experienced CEO ran the meeting and pinpoint on the departments that were not up to par.

And with my dad's experience, he had us arrive earlier to meet the new head honcho and we had a good introductory chat. Just so happened that he was tasked to chairing the meeting too and I realised that had I not met him prior to this I would have been even more nervous presenting our results to him. Having met him beforehand showed me his human side and not just the title he held.

A lot of learnings and awareness throughout the day, and being prepared means a lot more now than just preparing a presentation.

Life Is A Matter Of Perspectives And Awareness

Life is a matter of perspectives. I always am bothered by this little killoid on my chest. I, not I, my mind always complain about it to me and sometimes I get swayed.

Until I saw my cousin who has it on both shoulders and even his jaw. And he's been through multiple injections in those areas just to reduce the size and effects of the killoids.

Here's when I see that I haven't had it bad at all.

But the awareness behind the awareness is that I don't have to wait till I get a different perspective to appreciate what I got even if it's bothersome. I just have to be thankful that I'm alive. If I have to wait for other perspectives to come along, I'm wasting my life away. And who knows, those perspectives may never come anyway.Life

Remove The Emotions

Saw emotions were high today due to unpleasant situations. But as I was not there when the incident happened, I realised that I have more of an unbiased and calm view; and is a better person to make decision. I also realise that the best thing to do is to remove the emotional person out of the picture because when dealing things with emotion our judgement will always be clouded. This is also something for me to learn, to remove my being from my emotion so that I can have a clearer view and make sound decisions. This is the best state of being also when being a leader.

Impatient Teens

The young teenagers in Singapore I encountered during a queue for lunch surprised me greatly. They do not have patience and kept voicing their dissatisfaction at the store staff in a continuous manner. I think the life of the Singaporean is getting really fast paced and they are trained in and with efficiency. Worse was when an older gentleman came at the queue from the other side and put in his order before the teenagers did. One of the more vocal ones wouldn't let him off without speaking out loud to insult him continuously in sarcasm. 

My awareness of this awareness is that I could have stopped this from happening if I had spoken up to the gentleman. Whether or not he did it deliberately I should have found out. I watched all these unfold and then had noise pollution and the immediate environment around me had lousy energy. But if I had told him that the queue started in the other direction, I would have saved myself the hostile environment as well.

No Such Thing As 'More'

Today was the first time in three weeks that I had a really good exercise. I did exercise while in China but I was without an environment that really pushes my limits; so today was quite an exertion. 

I must be more aware to exercise more while I travel because after a good work out and a good sweating session I find myself more alive. 

But I'm grateful to be able to go back to a familiarity that pushes me into the unknown. I can feel that there's a safety behind the risk that's quite comforting to pursue and push my limits. Wow, what an awareness as this just came while I'm typing this out. 

And I want to say I want to look out for more but then I found that I'm catching this thought and telling it that there is no such thing as "more" but only appreciation for what is, and no need to search but just be ready to receive when it comes.

A Beautiful Sunday Indeed

Today I'm grateful for the rain that drizzled the whole afternoon away, bringing with it a cool weather that almost felt like I was back in Xi'an. It is definitely a rare Sunday afternoon that was windy and refreshing without the sun, and I was able to relax with the wind.

I'm also grateful that I had the opportunity to go out for a drive and enjoy the wet weather from outside of my house. I was feeling lethargic indoors and that trip really charged me up as I get closer to nature. A beautiful Sunday indeed.

Office Comfort Zone

First day back at the office yesterday after a 2 week absence and I was conscious enough to keep checking my energy before encountering other people there but what I kept realising was that I wasn't able to keep my energy at 10. And this must mean that my comfort zone at the office is a low energy one which I kept falling back into. And it's not a good feeling to realise this because most of my days are spent here. So for the rest of the year it's time to change the comfort zone in the office and bring my energy level to a high point so that I can become a better leader as well.

What brought down my energy was to come back and find out that certain things were not done. At one point I could have up the temper a little and show my displeased side but honestly that wouldn't accomplish anything and I would just bring down my energy further. Mistakes made, even with good reasons, we move on and make the future a better one.

Last night presented a rare opportunity for me to go to the movies with my parents. We have not done this in years because we never really plan movies together. Thinking back at the night I really enjoyed the experience as I got to share a passion of mine with my parents and we had a nice discussion of our awareness after that.

Comfort Zone To Complacency

Having spent most of the last two weeks in China with no access to this site and many more, how very silly, I was unable to make any posts.

But today I'm grateful to be back home and will sleep in my own bed. There is a certain familiarity here that I like to indulge myself in. And thus opens up a whole lot of issues on familiarity and where it will lead to comfort zone. Familiarity is comfort zone, in the negative context where there are expectations and assumptions made. And the search for anything ceases. Complacency will ensue if without a higher intention of appreciation for what is comfort and how does this bed serve me and my spirit. 

By serving my restful slumber it will open up more possibilities of a better functionality of my body, mind and spirit.

Today I was also aware of how certain people attempts to make conversations by venting or complaining about their situations or mutual acquaintances. Herein also lies certain comfort which I find distasteful to indulge. But I recognise that it is an attempt at making a connection at the level that they know how and without awareness. I hold the responsibility then to take the conversation to a higher level of awareness and uplifting them. Another way would be to walk away.

Two More For The Team

Today I'm appreciative of the opportunity to get to do a team building exercise that is with so much meaning and colour. I was able to get to know two more of my colleagues better as I bring them onboard this wonderful journey. I was able to see them shine and hear their ideas and creativity. They really surprised me for I wasn't expecting so much from them at all. And why wasn't I anyway, I do wonder.

I'm very happy with this whole experience. I'm very happy with the team and each individual person. I'm happy to see comfort zones being crossed and borders being broken. This was just another best day in the history of best days.

The Watch

For the longest time I have been wanting to buy a watch. Something that's expensive and a very recognisable brand. I have two friends who have been educating me about watches, how it represents the status of a man and how a watch is the only accessory for men. So I should get something that's expensive and worthwhile.

But even after a year, I still haven't bought one, not for the lack of researching. But I finally realised why i still haven't bought one. The intention of getting this expensive watch was so that I would fit into the society's view of what success means. I kept thinking that I needed a better watch when i go to all the conferences and meeting all the big bosses. And these are all in my head too because whether or not that's how I'm judged, I have made it real in my head.

So I'm glad that I haven't bought a watch. It would have been for all the wrong reasons. But when I do buy a watch next time, I'm going to buy it for myself. Because I like it. Not to satisfy anyone.

Commit To Love My Mouth More

I appreciate my entire mouth a lot more today because my teeth, gum and tongue has been giving me some issues the past two days. Causing discomfort, it was hard to focus today. Even if the discomfort did not result in pure physical pain, but still it was hard to focus. So the norm is such a comfortable state of mind that I am so used to and taken for granted.

From now on, I will be more grateful and brush my teeth more times a day as instructed by the dentist. Perhaps some teeth may be too late to return to 100% healthy, but I am committed to not let them deteriorate further. And I'm committed to love my mouth more from now on.

Source Of Generosity

Generosity comes not from the physical things represented as gifts. Generosity comes not from things that money can buy. Generosity, even though may show up many times as gifts and things, but it's the root of that generosity that counts most. Hence the saying, it's the thought that counts.

Generosity is from the heart. When the heart is full, not living in fear of not having enough or scarcity, then generosity can happen. And it will always show up as an assist to the people around me. As a form of gratitude and appreciation for whatever reason, or simply to brighten someone's day.

Today's intention, be generous.

Make That Right Decision Every Moment

I see a lot of people, and including my old self, have found comfort living in anger, frustration, complaints, fear. It has become a norm because we didn't know better. People I interact with feels the need to go back to that comfort zone because they just don't know there is another rung to the ladder.

And only through great awareness is one able to see and decide for a happier life. I'm glad I'm able to see that and choose positivity in everything that I see.

Today's affirmation is to know that there is a negative and a positive to everything that we do. And to be conscious, be aware, and choose to make decisions for a happier moment every single time.

Moments are fleeting. Sometimes I'm not sure what to do in a moment, and then suddenly I'll ask myself, "What would Linda Chandler do?" That usually clears things up.

Don't Let It Slide

My biggest realisation of the day is that I have let myself slide down and I was lazy to be aware of it. I was squandering my life energy away and I let it happen.

I was too caught up in the mind and the fear that they have clouded my intention of higher purpose and higher living.

But I appreciate myself for still being aware enough to notice and realise this immediately after; and kicked myself for letting myself fall with such disgrace.

I also realised that as I don't play at my best, I'm lousy to my environment. I am in no position to help others, worst was I pulled people around me down with me.

And this was also the worst thing that I could have done for myself. As I do not function at my best, I do not respect and honour myself. I lost love for myself. It felt terrible and I do not want to be in that position again. This is a commitment I make for and to myself.

Health, Stability, Peace Of Mind

It has been a weird week whereby a lot of crimes and accidents have happened in Brunei. Stabbing and robbery, traffic accidents, students missing in neighbouring country, fires in buildings, even a few murder cases. And I just saw a car burnt to its frame last night close to midnight.

Some reaction from the more superstitious was to pray more, for fear of perhaps karma. Others with more enlightened views voiced out the need for everyone to be more careful and aware of what we're doing. It's all human errors anyway.

Today I'm grateful for great health and stability for friends and family. I'm grateful that everyone around me is well and the environment is more comfortable than necessary. And I'm grateful for the peace of mind that all these bring.

Universe's Gift To Man

(Two nights ago) I took a moment to pause, to marvel at the midnight sky. The moon was full and the sky was clear. Clouds scattered across what looked like a curved atmosphere. And the stars were beautiful and bright. I took a long pause and stood out in the lighted darkness and appreciated everything around me. Everything was calm and quiet, even when they actually were not. But the beauty of nature was unmistakable. And for one moment, it was as if I was looking through the atmosphere down on planet Earth.

Today I appreciate all that's natural, the universe's gift to man. May we preserve them as they are.

The Abode Of Peace

Today, with news of a robbery and stabbing that happened to one of our friends, I began to shift thoughts away from worry and think of what I'm grateful for.

I'm grateful for living in a country that seldom has crime stories; a country that generally is peaceful and can bring us peace of mind no matter the hour or date or place.

What happened today is just a tragic story of a desperate man who lost his way. The 5k dollars he robbed won't help his life for long so may he find greater strength to find a better way of life.

Opportunities Of Greatness

Today I'm grateful for the wonderful opportunity to attend a breakfast event with the Singapore High Commissioner, whereby I was able to meet and listen to a few seniors who have came a long way and are more aware of the business side of things around the country and the world. I realised that there is more that I can contribute, more that can be done, and definitely much more for me to learn.

And it's a great feeling too that there are these people in my life whom I have access to. The only thing is to ask the right people the right questions in order to improve myself.

It's also a great feeling to walk out of such a high energy session with even higher intention that is at a national level. I believe that all human beings when given the opportunity to do something greater than themselves is already an inspiration to them. There ought to be more of these opportunities for more people but it also takes the willingness of oneself to step out of their own comfort zone.

Appreciate Freedom

Today I'm appreciating freedom. The freedom that comes from who i am as a person. The freedom of being totally responsible for who I am and what I am, that I live by my integrity and my code of honour. And from there, I gain the freedom of being. I think that's the best gift that I can receive. 

And for that I appreciate myself for living up to my own standards, where I can be proud of myself and not have the fear of whether I've done the right thing or not. When we've done all we can, we have to learn to be content or and learn to not ask for more. Otherwise there's always that higher mountain to climb and we'll always be chasing an illusion.

Learn To Let Go Thoughts

If we learn to let go sooner, the less chance frustration or anger will creep in. I experienced this when I had to rush to take away some KFC egg tarts to our Thursday night alignment meeting but once I got to the venue, I lifted the box from the car floor and the defected egg tart box fell apart. None of the tarts stayed in the box.

But rather than get angry and blame an object like the box, or dwell on the rushed efforts of acquiring them, I shifted out of the thoughts and back to a let-it-be nonchalance.

No anger, no frustration, no dark side. In fact, everyone didn't mind and still finished the whole box.

Today I came out of my room expecting lunch to be ready. But then mom told me to go out and buy something for the family. My plan wasn't to leave home until a few hours later. But I managed to shift very quickly and just did what needs to be done.

Our plans that we make are never our own. We are here to serve a larger purpose. One that we often are not fully aware of. But to stay stuck in selfishness will be our own undoing.

Today I'm grateful for the strength in awareness that led to peace and calm.

I Am A Gift

I haven't been practising empowering myself for two weeks now. Haven't really sat down to reflect or getting centred. I have no excuse. And it feels like I have been missing out on life.

So today I'm grateful for myself for getting back to the exercise. It is indeed an exercise, of the mind, the heart and the soul. To be appreciative of life and to feel that appreciation in growing inside and manifesting on the outside.

I am also reminded that I am a gift in this world and it is a gift to be in this world. But moreover, I deserve nothing from anyone or anything. Nobody owes me anything. Whatever that i receive be it physical or otherwise, is a gift and that I will appreciate them even more.

Whatever that I deserve, I will be the one to create. I am a gift, because I have my limbs and my mind intact. And I will use them to create for myself. That's how I honour myself.

The Little Moments Of Togetherness That Makes Up Our Life

Sitting in the office, and suddenly the sound of firecrackers came from outside. Immediately I am brought into the spirit of Chinese New Year. Brought back into the present, that this is the morning of the eve of the new year. And I cannot help but feel so appreciative of this world that I'm living in as tears start to form on the edges of my eyes. 

I am appreciative of my environment that I have created. The environment that I choose to be in. The people in this environment right now, I feel a deep sense of love and connection to them. And I appreciate all these connections and I can feel it deep into my core.

I appreciate this office, this space, the furniture and the paintings on the wall. Every single one of them I have hand picked myself to be placed inside my environment. With a few gifts here and there. Everything is just perfect. I can't ask for anything more.

Yesterday was a great moment I had with my brother and mother as we cleaned up part of the house together as a team. Something that only happens during this time of the year. With technology taking most of our spare time, we seldom have these real moments anymore so when it happens it is even more of a cherished moment.

Intention of the day is to appreciate every single moment as it leads up to the gathering dinner so that I can truly live in the present and enjoy these moments for they do not happen the same again.

One Life At A Time

Today I appreciate that we have a weekly alignment gatherings because I really needed something to ground myself from all the hectic doingness this week has presented itself as. I haven't aligned with myself these past few days because I didn't want to face myself and just wanted to escape. So having that opportunity to share during our alignment just now made me slow down, reflect, breathe, and appreciate all that I've done.

Launching a few things in one week has its challenges. As well as going through the process of hiring people. I feel more at ease asking questions that felt right as I can somehow gather who this person in front of me is. By being more aware of what it is that I'm looking for certainly makes it that much easier.

I also appreciate myself for being able to grab an opportunity to do a little contribution when the maid cut her finger and got a bit of a scolding from my mom. It seemed like she couldn't stop crying so I sat her down after my mom has left, something I've never done before. As uncomfortable as it was for me and for her to interact at that level, I treated her as a human being and talked and listened. Even in a few words, even in just a short couple of minutes, she immediately felt better. Before that I kept asking if her finger still felt pain and she said yes, but after talking to her and after a short period of time has passed, she said her finger was good. So just by my taking that two minutes out of whatever I am doing, to show a bit of compassion to my fellow human being, it made that difference. 

However, as I tried to bring some awareness to my mom later, to tell her that she didn't have to scold the maid, she took it personally and said I sided the maid more than my own mother. The more she complained, the more my energy went down. I could literally feel the dip. Immediately I stopped all emotions and started to shift and let go. And it worked. I shifted, and she too shifted. And we both moved on from there. But it also made me think of how I said it to her, and how it didn't work. So I have to change my approach as well next time.

So awareness for today, my contribution to society is to touch one life at a time.

Align With Self First Before Aligning With Others

Today I appreciate the car and the house and all the physical possessions that I have. They provide the physical comfort that assists me in following my higher purpose and intention. I understand that I am living in luxury. I may not need them but I am capable of having them. With that, I appreciate them for also showing up in my life and accompanying me in my life journey.

Today I also appreciate myself for getting ready a little earlier so that I can align with myself first before the usual alignment meeting at the office. I realise that this is more important as I have to set the tone for myself first before I can set the tone for the team. If I don't get align with my spirit, body, mind and heart; I won't be able to align at a much higher level with my environment.

Today my intention is to be appreciation. To appreciate the little and normal things that do not usually get appreciated. So that I can see all the beauty that exists all around me.

We Make Judgments Everyday

I was kicked in the butt when I met face to face with a person that i judged a few months back with no consideration or reservation. This person was a member of the Lego group on FB which i have recently joined. He added me as a friend on FB without having met me first. That was when annoyance built up. 

I looked at one picture, saw that he was this big guy with a pony tail in leather jacket with all his biker friends. I immediately told myself that this wasn't someone i would be able to connect with. And proceeded to delet him from my friends list. 

But when I met up with him for the first time to have a small Lego business transaction, we sat down, i bought him a drink, and we went on to chat for more than an hour. Sure we only talked about Lego, but it was his being, his energy, his passion and his cheerfulness that really attracted and inspired me. I can tell he has a big heart. And I'm so glad this person has found me, finally; and I'm happy to call him a friend.

Even on a journey that practises no judgement, i'm still a human being, i still make judgement everyday. But i hope with this experience I can do better next time. Be better.

Today my intention is to be a better and a more carefree person by not holding judgement or expectation for myself or for others. And by doing so, i will create joy inside my soul which will show in my body, and be created in my environment.

Behind Those Harsh Words

Trip to KL with a few of my team. I was being aware of keeping my energy as high as possible as I know I affect my environment. Energy is contagious.

Great real life example from this trip was when my staff encountered her counterpart in the Malaysia office, and for no reason, she was snapped at and spoken to very harshly. We always think we know someone but really we don't even know what's behind their smile.

My staff took the words to heart and was left dazed and confused, almost in tears. One of the great things about CV was the alignment in sharing. I started it, knowing something was up, and another one of the great things about the CV journey was I knew exactly what to say to advice my staff.

And I used the CV language, she got it straight away even though she probably couldn't fully grasp the meanings, but she got it.

Another great thing about being in this journey for long was that I could guess what had happened. Her counterpart was probably in a bad mood, being pressured was probably a normalcy in a company that big. Plus they don't have the kind of support system we have, or the kind of self-understanding we have gone through.

True enough, that person called up my staff the very next morning to apologise many times, all due to stress at work. I just hope that my staff could understand from this whole experience, about herself and about negative energy and negative situations. And that negativity inflicted by others are not about one self. We just have to not take things personally.

My intention for today is to keep my energy up because of a restless night. I will not let that affect me which will in turn affect my own environment. I am my environment. I am a creator. I am my authentic self.

Inner To Outer

Woke up today and the past week feeling lethargic. Something is not aligned. Will probably have to figure that out but at the same time not to worry about it.

Today my intention is to be aware of my energy and the words that I choose because I'll be travelling together with a few of my team. So I want to be a source of inspiration and encouragement. Not mediocrity and nonchalance.

I am also aware of time and how I plan my schedule for the day. I make sure that I have ample time and will not be or feel rushed in anyway so that my soul will be in calm and peace.

I appreciate my soul and only feed it serenity. The good will move from inner to outer. By taking care of my soul I also take care of my environment.

My Life Intention (1st draft)

If only I could turn back time
Travel to a year when I was only five
Before all the darkness and fear corrupt
Before possibilities had made room for doubt

There I would look into the boy's eyes
For they are the truth behind mine
I would trust my heart to speak the words
And hope he hears them everyday when he wakes

Live a life with the greatest hope
Dream dreams that could change the world
Don't fear that they are bigger than you
Fear only that they aren't big enough

Live a life without ever holding back
Feel what you feel and express them positively
It's the only way to live an authentic life
And that's the only way to live a life that's fulfilling

Live a life that could inspire millions
To not succumb to the norm and the normalcy
Follow not of the footsteps of the less aware
And be aware enough to stand on the shoulders of giants

Live a life that's closest to the heart
For nothing in this world is a better guide
And you will experience a life of no regrets
But only the purity of the truth of your very being

These are my words of wisdom to you
The only words that I can leave behind
Because nothing else on earth matters
If we don't live every moment in our very best

First Day Of My New Year

Today is the first day of my new year as I've just celebrated my birthday yesterday. And I thought at this point in my life and on this particular day, it's the day to start this blog.

The internet is such a powerful tool today, and it's really a fine line between good and bad usages of it. But one thing is for sure, we're leaving our footprints on the interweb and it will be recorded here for what it seems to be until the end of time. And I'm here to leave positive cyber-energy and be an inspiration if I can. When I empower myself, I empower others. And when I empower others, I empower myself.

Today was a public holiday. And on a usual Sundays I usually stay in my room in front of the television watching series and whatnot on the internet; from the moment I wake up, even before I have breakfast; and until I go to sleep again.

Sometimes throughout the day I might get slight headaches for straining my eyes by forcing them on the screen. It's been a pattern and I am now empowered to break the pattern.

Not just breaking the pattern, but breaking it in a meaningful way; which is to go out and do something meaningful or do something that would add value to either myself or others.

So today I made it a point to go out and make a connection with an old friend. My intention for this is to not squander this day away. I want to go to bed today with a bright spot on my day.

And so the friend I chose was Alex Chai whom I haven't seen for more than half a year. We had a two and a half hour lunch at The Arch and I was so inspired by the person sitting in front of me. He's changed so much and is really living a life with high intentional. He's walking the talk and by showing up his best, he's able to attract more people into his life. People who would or want to share his life energy and help him spread it to their own environment.

I left the restaurant more alive and more thoughtful. And he as well because as he inspires me, he inspires himself as well.

As we give, we receive. That's how the world works. Leave the life of scarcity, live in abundance.