Please Repeat

I was reminded by myself that I have not been connecting with my staff in the office of late after having an impromptu one-on-one with one of them. So as we're driving back from another meeting outside, I took the opportunity to invite another to sit in my car and I invited her to open up whatever issue she had in mind or wanted to raise and everything will stay confidential. I felt it was a great experience to be able to listen to whatever problems she might be facing, to hear her views, let her speak her mind. But I was also shocked that she was still gossiping with her colleagues and I suggested to her to stop that as that is an unhealthy act. They still have much to learn about the poison that is gossiping.

I'm also practising my listening skill and with no judgement. Taking your advise about requesting the other party to repeat themselves when I lost them to my mind. Today was also another realisation when I met up with my insurance agent. It was so easy for my mind to drift off when he's talking about numbers. I am shocked with my new level of awareness how much numbers don't go into my comprehension. Asking him to repeat again was also another way for me to bring myself back to the present and pay attention to what he's talking about.

Get The Intention Aligned

I felt like this morning I woke up and had switched my awareness level down to zero. The morning passed by like a blur so now I'm doing an energy check and waking myself up from a zombified state.

Yesterday I started to question about what the intention was for starting a podcast with a friend talking about movies. We never sat down and state what our intention was and if we want to do something, might as well do it with purpose and value and see where this can take us to a higher level. Sure, spending half an hour a week on it may not seem much, and we do enjoy it as we both love watching movies, but getting our intentions aligned can set a stronger foundation or create a better understanding for everyone involved. At the moment, it's all in assumptions.

I Don't Own My Own Plans

So funny that just like yesterday, I was thinking about Fion in Kuching and she also texted me today for a greeting. And I told her too I was thinking about her not too long ago. The awareness finally hit me that I can make the first move instead. Otherwise the pattern will continue.

While driving I made a conscious choice to bring up yesterday's topic about the burst pipe to my mom. Immediately her energy changed to that of frustration as she recounted the chain of events. However, my intention wasn't that as I wanted to share about my awareness but different level of energy were at work. So I had to bring her back to my intention which was to share about my feelings of frustration and reaction or there lack of. But also of my moments of anger and my moments of loss of self control in my emotions albeit I kept them to myself at the time. But this was probably the first time we had this kind of conversation and I foresee many more to come.

But on the way back mom forgot her phone and we were already almost at home. Funny how I had the night planned for myself and now we had to drive all the way back to get the phone and my plans were all dissolved. We make a lot of plans in our head and when they don't go our way our ego gets upset. I'm still learning that my ego is not myself. And my plans are also not myself. I don't own them. I only own my own creations. I am the source of energy and that is what I can own.

To Hold One's Tongue

Being aware and keeping my energy up consciously seem to have also helped with my overall day to day energy. It seems like even without my usual number of hours of sleep it doesn't affect me. I don't feel lethargic like I used to for the past couple of months already. I'm able to enjoy life even more this way.

I suddenly thought about a friend yesterday because I haven't seen her for the longest time. And after a while she sent me a text of greeting saying the same thing. Energy flows in beautiful and mysterious ways.

Tonight the house-maid broke a water pipe. I was debating with myself whether or not to lecture her on her stupidity and couldn't come up with a right answer as I could tell my emotion was running high. And that was caused by the discomfort of not having water and the challenges tomorrow will bring when looking for someone to come and fix something which I am not sure whether it can be fixed.

Discomfort is something that we have come to be so used to. And once we don't have it we're out of our comfort zone and desires so much for the normalcy that is defined by our mind.

Also whether or not the pipe can be fixed is not up to me to decide and yet my mind want to make that decision straight away.

In the end I held my tongue because whatever I said wasn't going to fix the situation but only satisfy my ego for letting off the frustration.

If the words that are going to come out of our mouths aren't going to be helpful to anyone then it's better left unsaid.

Under One Roof

An awareness I had from watching the movie Paranoia. People today think more about convenience of the mobile phones as something that can perform everything to make life easier. We want the best and the fastest and the flashiest. 

However, we neglect the fact that it's a risk to put everything under one roof. We're blinded by the warm and fuzzy feeling that roof provides. Moreover, everything can be tracked on the mobile phone and hence privacy no longer exist. Therefore, it's more and more important to be aware about what kind of information are we sharing unconsciously. No longer just on the social media.

I'm going to make today my best day by living in awareness and abundance.