So funny that just like yesterday, I was thinking about Fion in Kuching and she also texted me today for a greeting. And I told her too I was thinking about her not too long ago. The awareness finally hit me that I can make the first move instead. Otherwise the pattern will continue.
While driving I made a conscious choice to bring up yesterday's topic about the burst pipe to my mom. Immediately her energy changed to that of frustration as she recounted the chain of events. However, my intention wasn't that as I wanted to share about my awareness but different level of energy were at work. So I had to bring her back to my intention which was to share about my feelings of frustration and reaction or there lack of. But also of my moments of anger and my moments of loss of self control in my emotions albeit I kept them to myself at the time. But this was probably the first time we had this kind of conversation and I foresee many more to come.
But on the way back mom forgot her phone and we were already almost at home. Funny how I had the night planned for myself and now we had to drive all the way back to get the phone and my plans were all dissolved. We make a lot of plans in our head and when they don't go our way our ego gets upset. I'm still learning that my ego is not myself. And my plans are also not myself. I don't own them. I only own my own creations. I am the source of energy and that is what I can own.
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